When I wrote my About I apologize for not including sometimes shocking. Which this idea may be for some but it’s all good and fun.
THIS ONE IS FOR THE LADIES
Having now won your gentleman, it is up to you to behave towards him in such a way that he always wants to be your knight, Romeo, hero, Valentine, and admirer. Not to mention, willing to die for you. Having said that, here is a start. This little act of titillation can only be undertaken at one point in time: the day before your wedding. At least I cannot imagine it working any time else.
Go buy yourself the cutest, tiniest stringy-thing you can find that fits your nether regions. For those ladies who don’t wear g-strings, you’ll have to pass on this one unless you can find a pair of panties small enough to fit in a pocket without bulging. However, I am reminded of an incident which occurred between two friends of mine. One was picking at her underwear one day, you know, when it rides up under our pants? The other friend saw it. Let’s face it, it’s embarrassing and annoying. She said, “Oh, go buy yourself a g-string, pleeeaaase!”
Having made the purchase and keeping quiet about it to hubby-to-be, the night before your wedding, at your final visit as singles, make an excuse to go alone into the room wherein his wedding suit is hanging. Surreptitiously place the string-thing into the front pocket of his suit. A suggestion: tell him you are putting your ring in his pocket for the morrow’s nuptials. Sneak out, looking perfectly innocent. Which you are. He is going to be your husband after all. If you put your ring in there, make a point of telling him which pocket. The left is good for the ring as that is the finger on which it will be placed. Helps him to remember.
There are several points of time at which the stringy-thing may be discovered by your groom. It is probably good to be aware of this:
when he puts his suit on next day
anytime between suiting up and arriving at the church/wedding venue
in the church/venue as he is waiting for you
after the ceremony.
The story with which I am familiar went thus: the bride-to-be expected her beloved to discover the string as he was dressing. But he didn’t! It was as he was awaiting her presence in the chapel that he happened to put his hand into his pocket and touch what felt to him to be a shoelace there. He pulled it out to have a look. It took him a few moments to work out what the ‘shoelace’ was, at which point it hastily re-entered his pocket before the other people present, including the minister, figured it out as well. Husband and wife had a titter about it later. And the memory of that moment was never forgotten.
Afterwards when you are on your way to your honeymoon, usually it would be by car, because of course the stringy-thing is still in his pocket, they will not be on you. Make sure your new husband knows there is nothing where the stringy-thing ought to be. He will enjoy that thought all the way to sweet consummation. And so will you.
It has been written by one of my favourite authors that when a woman is fulfilling her design she is valiant, vulnerable, and scandalous. Be scandalous, ladies. At least your husband will never die of boredom. Nor will your marriage.